Late night mama guilt
We had a pretty rotten day today. The beginning and the end were fine, but the middle.... phew. Charlotte had her first appointment with the pediatric opthalmologist today. (Did I spell that right? Oh, probably not.) We'd noticed months ago that one of her eyes seemed to be crossing much of the time, and when we were in Indiana in May, Chris's parents both told us that she needed to be checked out. Our pediatrician couldn't see a thing at Charlotte's 20 month appointment. (she was too busy squnching her eyes closed to scream!) He said he always believes grandparents in such cases because parents don't notice behaviors that sneak up on you day by day, and grandparents see them as big changes... unless they're lucky enough to be around every day and miss them just like mom and dad. Charlotte was so good in the hour before we actually got in to see the doctor. (Warning: don't bring Five Little Monkeys Jumpin' On the Bed to doctor's appointments, or jumping-related accidents will occur.)
Once we got in to see the doctor, my poor duckling had to have her eyes dilated, something I never enjoy, and that gives me migraines. She was blinking, rubbing her eyes, and fussing. The waiting room was small and hot, so we decamped to the main pediatric waiting room and played there. There sure were a lot of kids there with lazy eye. Another little boy pointed Charlotte's out to me, which convinced me it was true. (when a 4 year old notices.... ha)
What I was surprised to get, and I shouldn't have been, having read everything on WebMD about lazy eye, was a prescription for eyeglasses. How am I supposed to keep glasses on a 20 month old kid?! I can barely keep her diaper on. The doctor said not to use a strap because they mostly play with it or have it hang around their neck, (strangulation hazard too) just to get really well fitted eyeglasses. I'm going to have to call every optician in town to see if they are used to fitting babies. Probably we'll go to the place connected to the opthalmologists' office. At least we don't have to try patches or drops just yet, the doc is going to give the glasses 2-3 months to work first. Surgery would be a long ways down the road, if at all. I liked the doctor fine, she was so patient, even with the tornado of terror trying to punch her. You can tell she looks at a lot of toddlers' crossed eyes daily.
I'm kicking myself because I know I have so much to be grateful for. Charlotte is so healthy and smart and gorgeous. She is so much fun to be around and I thank whatever supernatural power I am willing to admit the existence of for giving her to me. (Diagram that sentence! Hi-yah!) She has never had antibiotics, she has never had a sick visit to the doctor except when we both had thrush last Christmas. Knock On Wood. The thought of ugly eyeglasses on my perfect baby makes me so sad. The thought of having to keep track of yet another pair of glasses in this house is freakin' depressing. Charlotte may dig them for a few days. She finally will be able to wear them just like Mama and Daddy, and she tries to wear Mrs. Potato Head's glasses all the time. The doctor said that treatment is more successful at her age, and in a couple years she may not need the glasses at all. I am not holding my breath. And then when the poor baby's nearsightedness gene turns on between 10 and 14, inherited from me and Daddy, she'll have to get them again.
The evening made up for a lot of the hell of the afternoon. We had dinner plans with friends and I almost skipped them, so exhausted from the long afternoon. The thought of a dinner someone had already cooked for me won out, and I needed some adult interaction and to bask in the sweetness of my friends' angelic 7-month-olds. My friend and I went out for ice cream while her husband watched the kids. Poor Charlotte was hysterical again, this time crying for Mama and battering herself against the door like a desperate, dying moth. (I wasn't there but I've seen it before!) She passed out on the living room floor, where we found her when we got back. I felt terrible. I'm running for Mother of the Year lately, have I mentioned that before?!
I wrote a lot yesterday in hard copy, but haven't found the time to type it up; maybe I'll catch it tomorrow. Until then good night. I like LiveJournal, by the way, it's very cool to be able to lock entries to specific readers, etc. We shall see. Still in "trial" mode here. Tomorrow we are going to go out and have some fun dammit.
Once we got in to see the doctor, my poor duckling had to have her eyes dilated, something I never enjoy, and that gives me migraines. She was blinking, rubbing her eyes, and fussing. The waiting room was small and hot, so we decamped to the main pediatric waiting room and played there. There sure were a lot of kids there with lazy eye. Another little boy pointed Charlotte's out to me, which convinced me it was true. (when a 4 year old notices.... ha)
What I was surprised to get, and I shouldn't have been, having read everything on WebMD about lazy eye, was a prescription for eyeglasses. How am I supposed to keep glasses on a 20 month old kid?! I can barely keep her diaper on. The doctor said not to use a strap because they mostly play with it or have it hang around their neck, (strangulation hazard too) just to get really well fitted eyeglasses. I'm going to have to call every optician in town to see if they are used to fitting babies. Probably we'll go to the place connected to the opthalmologists' office. At least we don't have to try patches or drops just yet, the doc is going to give the glasses 2-3 months to work first. Surgery would be a long ways down the road, if at all. I liked the doctor fine, she was so patient, even with the tornado of terror trying to punch her. You can tell she looks at a lot of toddlers' crossed eyes daily.
I'm kicking myself because I know I have so much to be grateful for. Charlotte is so healthy and smart and gorgeous. She is so much fun to be around and I thank whatever supernatural power I am willing to admit the existence of for giving her to me. (Diagram that sentence! Hi-yah!) She has never had antibiotics, she has never had a sick visit to the doctor except when we both had thrush last Christmas. Knock On Wood. The thought of ugly eyeglasses on my perfect baby makes me so sad. The thought of having to keep track of yet another pair of glasses in this house is freakin' depressing. Charlotte may dig them for a few days. She finally will be able to wear them just like Mama and Daddy, and she tries to wear Mrs. Potato Head's glasses all the time. The doctor said that treatment is more successful at her age, and in a couple years she may not need the glasses at all. I am not holding my breath. And then when the poor baby's nearsightedness gene turns on between 10 and 14, inherited from me and Daddy, she'll have to get them again.
The evening made up for a lot of the hell of the afternoon. We had dinner plans with friends and I almost skipped them, so exhausted from the long afternoon. The thought of a dinner someone had already cooked for me won out, and I needed some adult interaction and to bask in the sweetness of my friends' angelic 7-month-olds. My friend and I went out for ice cream while her husband watched the kids. Poor Charlotte was hysterical again, this time crying for Mama and battering herself against the door like a desperate, dying moth. (I wasn't there but I've seen it before!) She passed out on the living room floor, where we found her when we got back. I felt terrible. I'm running for Mother of the Year lately, have I mentioned that before?!
I wrote a lot yesterday in hard copy, but haven't found the time to type it up; maybe I'll catch it tomorrow. Until then good night. I like LiveJournal, by the way, it's very cool to be able to lock entries to specific readers, etc. We shall see. Still in "trial" mode here. Tomorrow we are going to go out and have some fun dammit.
2 Comments:
At 12:18 PM, busytoddlermom said…
My son needs glasses now and I'm wondering if you were able to keep them on your daughter?
At 8:17 PM, jennvay said…
I noticed your e-mails and thought I'd chime in. My daughter has had to wear glasses since she was 10 months old. She's now nearly two and finds them herself when she wakes up for naps. It takes a little time, but they do learn to understand that they see better with them on. The type of glasses has made a big difference too. I found her glasses at solobambini www.solobambini.com They specialize in glasses for infants and toddlers and the glasses are flexible plastic. They also have what's called a "living hinge" so there is no way little fingers can be pinched and no small screws. They're great they can be chewed on or thrown and survive very well. Good luck, and remember with all of the health problems a small child can have. Glasses are not a big deal. And they can look really cute on little babies.
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